Thursday, May 22, 2008

If you're thinking of hitting the Full Moon Party on Koh Pha Ngan...

I read the Pha Ngan info guide a mere million times before I even got to Koh Pha Ngan, thinking if these people lived on the island, they must have a clue about how to live through the illusive Full Moon Party, right?
I was so far wrong.

So, I have decided, in retrospect, to impart my knowledge. Whether you choose to take it or no, that is up to you and only you.

1. People who get the overnight buses from Bangkok could well be chavvy bastards and rob you of all the money you own, even if you sleep with your bag tightly clawed to your lap. Be very aware of this, and no matter how stupid you think they look, one of those under your shirt zip up pockets were invented by nothing short of a genius and is most definately a good investment on your end, I speak from experience. Turning up on Koh Pha Ngan ready to party and finding you have absolutely zip money is not the best experience you will encounter. Another idea for us girls is to ram all your cash into your bra, unless you plan on being felt up on the bus by a complete stranger, this is a safe bet, and one I opted for on the way home.

2. The Pha Ngan info guide will strongly recommend that you wear trainers to Full Moon, to avoid treading on either broken glass or burning cigerettes. I strongly recommend that you don't. Having found myself at some point on Haad Rin holding only one of my precious converse, I took the decision to chuck said shoe over my shoulder, hence, wandering the rest of the night with no shoes, subsequently cutting my feet to shreds and standing on the plentiful burning cigerette butts. A bad move on my part I know, my favourite (and only) pair of trainers are now lost forever to Haad Rin.
Wear flip flops you don't care if you lose, and you probably will, Pha Ngan in general has a way of claiming shoes from you, and keep your eyes peeled if you do lose them for the piles of flip flops lost by other revellers.
This was the most ridiculous piece of information I have ever followed I realised in hindsight, trainers and sand just don't mix, throw in afew buckets and it's a recipe for disaster really isn't it.

3. On the subject of buckets, be careful, they have a nasty habit of sneaking up on you, and Thai whiskey has a way of sneaking up on your belly next day...you don't want to find yourself so drunk you don't know what the hell's going on, that's how more robbing could come about, or far worse, you've heard the stories, don't let it be you.

4. This is so important so please pay attention, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time (and it will for those select few) I implore you not to go swimming on Haad Rin. It is used as a general toilet for those lazy, wasted bastards, inclusive of those who desperately need to throw their guts up.
There's a good few rocks in the sea down there aswell, and (the voice of experience pipes up again) it's all to easy to cut yourself and get infected. The pharmacies on Pha Ngan I'm sure see this every month, but it's just not worth the 10 minutes of fun you think your having cos your plastered and want to go swimming. You can wait yeah.
Also, I saw alot of people losing their clothes to light fingered bastards whilst swimming, having to then wander the rest of the night with no clothes, having lost all their money and possessions.

5. Do not drink 5 mushroom shakes just because they have mango in them, they also have mushrooms in them. Enough said.

6. Be very aware that the police love to bust people, and do random drug raids at Full Moon. The drug laws in Thailand are harsh parsnips, you'll probably spend your life in the Bangkok Hilton if caught, so proceed with caution.

7. If your a girl, be aware there are wasted Europeans who take the fact you say hello to them as the green light for trying to kiss you or touch your ass or something similarly vile and European, if possible team up with a buddy to get around the beach. If you lose your friends, be aware you will never find them again, so try not to lose them, though this is easier said than done for some.
(If your one of these European guys, please, sort it out.)

8. If your still on Haad Rin once it hits about 7am, you will be surrounded by angry, trance loving Germans who just can't give the party up, so if you don't want to go to Back Yard (the day party over the hill) try to get out of there by about 6. Also, at this time you will be exposed to the searing sun and you should try to find some shade or sun cream. Thai sunburn is so much worse than European sunburn and hurts for 3 to 5 days, I don't want to nag, but I'd rather you didn't end up with the 'c' word, no, cancer.

9. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take a bag. Try to stuff your possessions into your pockets, you will only lose it and therefore everything inside it.

10 Finally, if you insist on only leaving Haad Rin to get back to your beach after about 5pm, be prepared to pay up to 1,000 baht for a taxi home. That is, unless you can speak abit of Thai and are up for having a 2 hour conversation with the taxi drivers, then they'll knock it down for you.

Well, go forth and party it up like true Full Moon worshippers and let me know if this is of any help or if I'm just a rambling nutjob...would be nice to be well informed...

Peace

(An afterthought, try not to get full moon paint on your clothes...it never comes out...)

1 comment:

Milo_Myage said...

Yay for Laura blog!!!!!